Greg Stones Art & Illustration

About the Artist

About the Artist

Let’s talk about what it means to be an artist.  Actually, let’s not.  You know why?  Because talking about what it means to be an artist is SO BORING!  “Oh, look at me!  I painted something!  I am SO SPECIAL!!!”

Put a sock in it, art-boy.  You didn’t cure cancer, you painted a penguin who pooped when he saw a UFO.  No one is impressed.

Actually, this part is slightly impressive: In 2017, I wrote and illustrated an OFFICIAL STAR WARS BOOK FOR LUCASFILM!!  It is called 99 Stormtroopers Join the Empire, and during the course of the book, all the stormtroopers die in humorously tragic ways.  Oh, wait: SPOILER ALERT!  I forgot to say that part first.  BOOK RUINED!

I also wrote and illustrated a bunch of other titles for Chronicle Books, exploring the harrowing lives of penguins, zombies, sock monkeys, garden gnomes, and ninjas.  Trying to make a living as a published author is about as profitable as selling VHS tapes to people with landlines, however, so I have returned to my roots as a guy who paints pooping penguins and sells his work at galleries and art festivals all over the country.  Watching another human being laugh out loud at something I created is incredibly gratifying, and makes me come very close to thinking that maybe I AM super special after all!  But then I remember what a complete and utter idiot I am when I’m not holding a paintbrush, and my ego is kept firmly in check.

A common question: “Greg Stones, where do you get your ideas?”

A common answer: “FROM YO MOMMA!”

So that answers that.

Oh, plus Red Bull.  Drink a Red Bull, talk to YO MOMMA, then paint a bunch of weird stuff that confuses and amuses people.  BOOM!  The recipe for a successful art career.

Now it is time for you to stop reading my artist statement and buy something.  Yay!!

- Greg Stones